Relationship pattern
By Meryem Erkan · Published on
The same sequence of reactions between two people, playing out again and again regardless of what the argument is about. The topic changes, the movement stays.
A pattern consists of a trigger, your reaction, his reaction to it and an outcome neither of you wanted. The crucial part: both do what, from their point of view, is meant to save the situation, and in doing so set off in the other exactly what they wanted to prevent.
If you like, I will walk with you a little further.
Every Thursday a letter, written for women, with one thought you can try out in everyday life.
If your relationship involves violence, systematic belittling, control or isolation, this is not a question of communication. In Germany, the violence against women helpline is available around the clock, free and anonymously on 116 016. Elsewhere, please contact your local emergency services or a local helpline.