First and second feeling
By Meryem Erkan · Published on
The feeling you show is often not the one that matters. Anger, irritation and coldness usually sit on top. Underneath lie fear, shame or the feeling of not counting.
The second feeling seems stronger, which is why we show it. But the other person reacts to what he sees. If you describe your anger, you get an answer to the anger, and the real issue stays undiscussed.
If you like, I will walk with you a little further.
Every Thursday a letter, written for women, with one thought you can try out in everyday life.
If your relationship involves violence, systematic belittling, control or isolation, this is not a question of communication. In Germany, the violence against women helpline is available around the clock, free and anonymously on 116 016. Elsewhere, please contact your local emergency services or a local helpline.