Intention and impact
By Meryem Erkan · Published on
Intention is what someone wanted. Impact is what arrived. The two can be completely different, and both are true at the same time.
Most couples argue about which of the two truths counts, and there is no answer to that. You did not mean to show him up, and he felt shown up. Both are true.
If you know the distinction, you can acknowledge the impact without taking back the intention. The sentence for it: "I understand that it felt that way." It is not an admission of guilt.
If you like, I will walk with you a little further.
Every Thursday a letter, written for women, with one thought you can try out in everyday life.
If your relationship involves violence, systematic belittling, control or isolation, this is not a question of communication. In Germany, the violence against women helpline is available around the clock, free and anonymously on 116 016. Elsewhere, please contact your local emergency services or a local helpline.